Sugar Honey Iced Tea

This is, by far, the worst book "bestseller" I've had the misfortune to read. I'm still sick each and every time I see the cover of this book. Each and every time I hear/read what a "great stuff" this is. Each and every time I remember those hours I've spent reading it.

I wish there was something... anything positive I could say about it but, for years now, I haven't found a thing. Nada. Zero. Zip.
This book is bad in so many ways, and wrong on so many levels, I just cannot figure out what is it that made all those "wouldn't touch a book with a six-foot pole" smart-asses suddenly buy it, read it, and never stop talking about how life-changing, eye-opening experience it is.

And, let's get one thing straight right away - I do not (and repeat DO NOT) have a problem with the theme of this book. I've read my share of historical/christian/religious fiction/thriller/mystery. And loved many of those. Loved the imagination that goes above and beyond; loved the style; loved the pace; loved everything.
I do not consider exploring a religious legend/idea/rumor blasphemy... well, this one I do, but not for the same reason at all.

What I do have a problem with happens to be this:
The Da Vinci Code IS NOT a mystery/thriller/suspense.
I shudder at the very thought of it being described as adventure. It could only be legit description if your idea of "adventure" is nursing a hangover in a garage/basement with an enthusiastic drummer beating the shit out of the instrument right next to you. Yes, it is the essence of pain.
I'm not even sure the "adult" line could work here quite properly, since this is way below any style an average elementary school kid could present.

Mr. Brown obviously has no idea that a good writer will always let you feel the mood, the character, the scene; he'll make sure you understand enough, but never assume you're an ignorant fool that needs to be TOLD someone is famous/expert/divine, without any reasonable explanation following; a good writer will make you turn pages with some fast paced action/smart dialogues/breathtaking descriptions; he most certainly will not INFORM you of some highly insignificant fact that is crucial for reasons known to the author alone, and then move on to fifty pages of la-da-di-da; and (last, but not least) a good writer will never ever think that he should repeat-repeat-repeat-repeat-repeat until you're dizzy. 

I'm not a book snob. And, usually I do loathe anyone saying "if you do (not) like this, there's something wrong with you", BUT...

If you DO LIKE THIS, I sincerely hope it's your first book, and that your taste will significantly improve in time. If it's not your first book, and you still do like it, well... just don't talk about it anywhere near me, ok? Thanks.